Friday, December 18, 2009


3 plus years without my son....2 plus years without my best friend....4 plus months without my granddaughter....For years I have been asking why. Why Lord? and How Long? My friends and mentors tell me, "God has a plan." "He knows what He is doing." "It's not anything you have done, it's something God is doing in you and in them." and, "He won't take the cookies out of the oven until they are done." All good advice and comforting for the moment. But the questions come back and I always need more comfort.

God is good all the time and He just keeps showing me providing friends with encouraging words to prop me up on my leanin' side and by popping devotionals into my prayer time that hit the mark and tell me that He hears me and that even though I don't see what He is doing, He is doing...and the cookies will be done and they will be perfect!

Today I received a devo that encouraged me and spoke to my questions....

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Friday, December 18 2009

If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend. - Psalm 55:12-13

"You will always be attacked in the place of your inheritance," said the man sitting across the breakfast table. "God has called you to bring people together and to impact other people's lives as a result of this anointing in your life. You must make sure that you seek to maintain righteousness in all of your relationships." Those words came from someone who had the wisdom and authority to speak them to me.

I have had a number of close relationships that ended in betrayal. I am very loyal to my friends and those with whom I have covenant relationships. Yet there are times that no matter how righteous you are, when someone means to betray you, he will do it. Loving those who betray you is "graduate-level Christianity." The religious community and one of His closest friends betrayed Jesus. Those who were closest to David betrayed him. Joseph's own family betrayed him. Loving our enemies cannot be accomplished by mustering it up. It can only happen when we have come to a death in ourselves so that Christ can love through us. It is truly one of those acts of identifying with the cross.

If you are a leader, you can be sure God will allow you to experience betrayal. It is one of those courses in the Kingdom that may not be required until God has seen that you have successfully passed other tests. It is the most difficult and most gut wrenching of all tests. A godly response goes against all that is in us. Our natural response is to protect, retaliate, and retain unforgiveness and bitterness. Our natural response is satan's most powerful weapon; to overcome it requires much grace from God. Ask God to build His nature in you now so that when such attacks come, you will be aware that it is a test and you will respond in righteousness.

Thank You Lord! I am encouraged to live another day keeping my eyes on YOU and my feet on the course You have set!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Help Me Lord!

I could list all the new sorrows this year has brought and find despair in the bottom of my bucket. Or I could list all the joys this year has brought and find hope to lift my heart. I choose hope and joy for I know that the Lord is good. I didn’t spend time in prayer yesterday and I felt it...the sorrow and the worry lightly tapping at my door. This morning it’s knock is more insistent. I know that it’s time to pray and seek the Lord and call for his rescue, lest they beat down the door and overpower me in my weakness.